Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize