2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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