Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
