ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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