My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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