i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
