Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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