We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
