If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize