dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
