it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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