I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
