3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
