i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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