thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
