It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
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