I need help removing her.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize