btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you win again, gameday.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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