He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
