We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
