So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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