There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
