he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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