Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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