I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
You work out of a Hotel?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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