That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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