please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
