i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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