Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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