Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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