I want to make a zoo with you.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
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If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
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Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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