I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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