It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
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