you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
