Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I got inside last night via doggy door
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
