i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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