Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
ok first of all what the fuck
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
