How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He better not be in your backpack
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
