weddingsv make me drug and hornr
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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