Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
