I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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