We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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