don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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