okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
