he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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