Kiss
Puke
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
