Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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