Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
