would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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