Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN