I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple