You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.