First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.