Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.