Will you blow on my dice?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Rumble strips road head = magical
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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