Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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