can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
you never un-have a 4some
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
