i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize