Whod you bang
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
