I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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