Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours