I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
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i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Is this like a preordered booty call?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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