I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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