Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
