If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
