I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
