no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
